Poor Roc

[Frenetic claps excitedly as his eyes widen; his tongue drops slightly
out of his mouth as he takes in the sight before him.  Balanced on the
fourth step of the stairway, Roc holds a sword high.  Turning it from
side to side, the knight looks to Frenetic questioningly.]

Is it large enough?


[Frenetic stares at the blade, shaking his head as he looks over the
weapon's edge.]


No, not quite.  Look, when I say I want you to balance this thing on
your forehead, I really want you to have to balance it.


[Standing up, Frenetic nudges the sword with a foreclaw.]


I mean, this thing's not even five feet long.  What can you do with
something like that?  Convert people to other religions when they're
not looking?  Cut hair?  


<leap>

I want-

[Frenetic hops into the air, swiping the blade out of Roc's hands with
a glimmer of madness in his eyes.]

-you to try something a bit harder.  But ... let's see ...

[Looking back behind the throne, Frenetic purses his snout and
whistles.]

Hey ... HEY RICHARD!  RICHARD!

[Tapping a claw against the royal throne, Frenetic stands and waits
for his summons to take effect.  Emerging from the shadows of the
chamber, Richard Garriott shuffles out and forward.  The alter-ego of
Lord British seems completely out of tune with reality, his eyes
spiraling about in a cloudy haze.  Stopping just short of the dragon,
Garriott looks up.]

You called for me, Frenetic?

[Frenetic grins.]

Yes, yes I did.  Do you remember Final Fantasy VII?

[Garriott thinks for a second, and then gives an affirmative shake of
his head.]

Yes.

<grumble>

Outsold us thirty to one that month ...

[Frenetic rolls his eyes and punches Garriott on the arm.]

Never mind how bad Ultima IX was, the important thing is that you
remember it.  So, do you remember Claude's sword?

[Roc gives a confused look at both Garriott and Frenetic.]

Claude?  You mean Cloud?

[Garriott peers at Roc.]

Cloud?  I thought he was named Claude.

[Frenetic nods.]

Yes, his name was Claude.

[Roc shakes his head.]

No, I could have sworn it was Cloud.  'cause Cloud and Aeris were-

[Garriott smirks.]

Aeris?

[Roc glares, looking back and forth as he scratches his head.]

Her name was Aeris, wasn't it?

[Frenetic smiles widely, blowing at Roc as he hands the sword to
Garriott.]

Yes, sure, her name was Aeris.

[Garriott takes the sword in one hand, striking the hilt gently on
Frenetic's side as the dragon speaks.]

Her name was Aerith.

[Huffing, Frenetic mumbles quietly.]

Sarcasm, Richard.  *Sarcasm.*

[Roc blinks.]

But her name *was* Aeris.

[Garriott giggles.]

Did she tell you that after you revived her in the Church?

[Roc gasps.]

You could revive her?  I *knew* there had to be something
about that ghost that appeared at-

[Frenetic rubs his eyes with his wings, reaches out with both
foreclaws, and hauls both men together onto the fourth step.]

Get a FWAK, you two.  Now, listen carefully, Richard.  I want you to
alter the dimensions of this sword-

[Frenetic points to the sword in Garriott's hands.]

-to make it match Claude's-

[Roc interrupts.

Cloud's.

[Frenetic strikes Roc on the head, sending him down to the bottom of
the stairs.  Ignoring the screams that follow that tumbling act, the
dragon continues.]

-Claude's blade.

[Garriott holds the sword forward, focusing intently.  After a few
moments of silence, the blade is enveloped in a dim white aura.  The
metal of the sword screeches as it stretches forward and widens,
slowly taking on the shape of a much larger, much less realistic
weapon.  Taking it from Garriott, Frenetic looks down to Roc and
winks.]

Now, this is a blade you can balance with.  

[Garriott looks up to Frenetic, watching as the dragon reclines in the
royal seat.]

Sir, what shall I now do?

[Frenetic stops, thinks, and then raises his wings as an idea strikes
him.]

I want you to go handle our friend.  Can you do that?

[Garriott bows.]

I will ... deal with him, sir.

[The former king of Britannia withdraws from the chamber, leaving
dragon and humans behind.  Laughter rolls around the throne room, a
peal of draconic amusement intermixed with the sound of a sword
clattering against the ground and the cries of a human in pain.]

Again, Roc, try again! 



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