A Good Idea
[Dupre and Iolo watch as Shamino speaks with the town crier, waiting
nervously for some sign of good news. Shamino turns after a few
moments of speech, and hastily sprints back through the crowd with a
piece of paper in his left hand. Stopping just short of hitting Dupre
in the side, Shamino steadies himself and reads from the paper.]
Alright, here's what Dingus knows. There's some beast in the castle,
who's been doing all of this tinkering to reality. Someone said it
was a gargoyle, but most say it's a dragon. So far, about one-seventh
of the city has evacuated. He asked about two dozen people where they
were going ... about half said "as far away from this mess as we can,"
a fourth said something about "caves," and the rest muttered
combinations of four-letter words and random epithets that would make
any bathroom stall read like Ernest Hemingway.
[Dupre nods.]
About right.
[Iolo stares at his crossbow blankly, ignoring the other two as they
examine the rest of Dingus' written advice. Fingering the trigger
mechanism, the bard frowns in annoyance.]
I used to be able to fire with the best of them.
[Pressing the trigger, Iolo watches as his bolt fires off into the
crowd. Watching forlornly, Iolo shoulders the weapon.]
Not even a scream. Not even a yelp.
[Meanwhile, Shamino and Dupre stare intently at the news regarding the
coming apocalypse.]
Shamino, we're clearly not thinking straight.
[Shamino pulls the paper away, folding it up as he looks back to Dupre
and Iolo.]
Can you blame us? One day, Iolo can't hit the broadside of a plot
hole, the next day he's running around like a modern-day miracle
healer.
"My wrist!"
[All three men spin around, staring at an older man who has clasped
his wrist in the middle of the crowd. The old man dances back and
forth; Shamino skirts up to his side in an instant. Hauling the wrist
down from the air, Shamino looks to the victim with a smile on his
face.]
Hurts, does it?
<SMACK>
[The old man smacks Shamino in the face, sending him backward into the
just-arriving Dupre and Iolo.]
No it does not hurt, you twit. Never felt this good in twenty years.
Like a new wrist it is. I could use this all day!
[Dupre grimaces.]
Let's not get into that, shall we, sir?
[The old man smacks Dupre on the face.]
You shut up, you tin-plated ninny! I'll do and say what I wish!
[Dupre swallows.]
I've got no doubt of that.
[Shamino looks at the old man as he points to Dupre.]
Just send the photos to him.
[Dupre growls, kicking Shamino in the shin as Iolo shakes his head in
defeat. The man grumbles, waves a finger at the three men, and
hobbles away. Looking up in time to catch the tail-end of the finger,
Dupre straightens and extends a gesture in reply.]
How do you like that, old man?
<in the distance>
"I like it just fine!"
Pervert!
" ... oaf! ... "
I'll box your ears!
" ... box your ... until it bleeds ..."
[The stooges exchange a mutual look of shock. Iolo closes his open
mouth and gulps.]
We ... need help.
[Shamino gulps.]
We need help now.
[Dupre gulps.]
We need ... the Avatar.
[All three exchange a knowing look. Shamino sniffs in the direction
of the city; his eyes dance across the rooftops of the city's larger
districts.]
Well, if he's here, he'll be somewhere in there. If.
[Dupre scratches his head, studying the town with a look of polite
confusion.]
Somewhere. If we're lucky.
[Shamino takes a step away, turns back to the others.]
Dupre,
[Dupre moans.]
What now?
[Shamino points to the west, in the direction of the castle.]
Go to Madame Rosa's. It's at the end of Amber road. Take some coins
with you, and see if you can't ask her where the blasted Avatar has
run off to. Tell her it's for the safety of the world.
[All three men pause in mid-discussion, look up as a noise akin to the
sound of a great explosion moves the earth beneath their feet. In the
distance, the Britain Library quickly fades into nothingness. Vacated
space is filled with a blinding halo of light; the pale glow of magic,
which disperses to reveal a building titled "Dennis's Dilly Of A
Pickle." The sounds of whips cracking and screaming leak through the
walls of the newly established establishment; the three stooges stare
numbly for a second or two, listening to the abject horror taking
place in front of them.]
Shamino?
[Iolo nudges Shamino in the gut.]
You were saying?
[Shamino "aahs," wiping his hands together as he tries not to stare at
the leather-clad individual handing out flyers in front of the new
store. The miniature human, decked out in black leather, draws many
passing eyes as he speaks about the wonders of "authority-therapy."
The man trips over his own words, trying his best to get the attention
of passers-by.]
Excuse m ... me me, sir, b-but would you like ... well, would you like
to try some ... well, I mean, it's ... it it it's ... would you like
some h ...
<sigh>
[The portly man unfolds a sheet of paper in his left hand; reads from
it, frowns, and then looks back up to the nearest citizen.]
Excuse me ... would ... well, would you like some hard help? I mean,
rude relations? Or ... or ... perh-h-haps you could try some latex
love?
[The citizen stops, looks at the salesman.]
Do you have aromatherapy?
[Tracing his eyes across the paper, the man shakes his head.]
N-n-no, I don't think we do that. Does it involve chains? We ... we
m-m-might have some pastry in stock, if we could-
[Back at the plot, Shamino shivers and turns back to the others. He
wonders, briefly, if there could ever be a rational explanation for
the building's appearance.]
Right. Dupre-
<whip crack>
<scream>
-you go and find Madame Rosa. Meanwhile, Iolo and I will try to seek
out the Avatar. We'll meet back at the Fountain of Celebration, at
nightfall. If we're lucky ...
<whip crack>
<scream>
... we can stop this before it gets out of hand.
[Iolo shakes his head.]
Too late for that.
<whip crack>
<scream>
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GO TO > Atop The Ramparts or Be Healed
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